How we met and got to know each other is actually a pretty neat love story, which is in the process of being written as each day goes by. Here is a short excerpt from my book on the beginning of our journey:
THE MAN FROM ROUGH COULEE written by C.L.I
In order to get to where you are going, you have to know where you are headed.
My journey to true lasting love and self discovery.
Sigh…… well there goes another one. That song, “Another One Bites the Dust”, could completely describe how I was feeling at that moment. After 2 months of exploring what my life would be like potentially dating a gamer, from a small town in Wyoming, I had just broken up with said “gamer”. What the heck was a “gamer” anyway? Having grown up in the farming and ranching industry, I didn’t have a clue as to what that crap was until THAT guy. Wow…. let’s just say, NEVER again would that be a road I would be going down.
I had even offered to move him in with me for the winter at my home in Arizona. Oh yes, I had my “superman cape” on in full force with that one. You know how you can see that tiny spot of good, deep down in someone and you think you can fix them because they just need some help and guidance? That is the “superman” complex I had, and I learned the hard way that people don’t change unless they really want to. I was feeling let down, discouraged, used and manipulated. You could say I was a bit jaded and perplexed with the male population in general.
I had a friend who suggested I try an online dating app, with her theory being that I could narrow down those “unwanted” types quicker. So ,there I sat, smack dab in the middle of creating my dating profile. The question that had me stumped the most was “Describe your PERFECT first date”. I had typed in the normal responses, deleted them and was watching my cursor blink. I realized that there should be quite a bit of logical thought going into my answers for this profile. I closed my computer and decided that I would take some time to ponder what would be my perfect first date.
To give you some background into my past relationships, I will even go as far to say as my past marriages, which had been numerous to say the least, I had struggled with finding my “One”. You know, the One that the movies and books all talk about. That instant chemistry, that connection, that man who evoked in me, an almost uncontrollable physical response, while at the same time, left me feeling like I had known him my whole life. That “love at first sight” deal. Was it possible that this cowgirl, who lived and breathed horses and ranch life, could ever actually meet the “One”?.
Never before had I been in a relationship with someone like me. Oh, I had turned quite a few men into “wanna be’s”, buying them their first pair cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, taught them how to saddle and ride a horse, watch for signs of health issues like colic and such, had explained what an OB chain was and how use it to help pull calves, had given precise instructions on how to drive my pickup and trailer loaded full of horses or cattle, you know, all the things that came as second nature to me.
My theory had been, good was good enough. I had set the bar fairly low in the relationship department, focusing more on how I could probably make it work and two paychecks were better than one. Hindsight being that I had settled. 100 % settled. I had settled because I had not had a clear, precise intent of the man I was searching for.
So, while I was annoyed by the time wasted dating the “gamer”, it had allowed me a lot of alone time where I could sit in my mess and ask God to check my cinch. In other words, I was asking God for His wisdom, and using His knowledge to verify that I wouldn’t be saddling up to another man who was not right for me.
A day or two went by after starting my online dating profile and I was still pondering what my “Perfect first date” should be. My thoughts cascaded back and forth, from going out to eat at a fancy Italian restaurant, maybe walking hand in hand together in a wine vineyard, or how about spending time on a beach with Margaritas together, but honestly, none of those ideas were actually my perfect first date.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and saw a vision. I was the passenger in a ranch pickup with a flatbed on it. There was a Border Collie on the flatbed, and we were feeding cattle in a meadow with trees, there was a good cup of coffee in my hand, and my date and I were having great conversation, while country music was softly playing on the radio. I opened my eyes and smiled. I had it! My perfect first date! I quickly called my close girlfriends and told them my vision!
Then my logical thinking side of my brain kicked into overdrive. With that kind of man and that kind of lifestyle, there would be some major challenges. No longer would I be able to fly to Cancun at the drop of a hat, no longer would I be with someone who had bankers’ hours, and more than likely, having a comfortable retirement would not be in the cards. Did I really want that? My computers cursor blinked at me, almost mocking my satisfaction of having finally figured out what I wanted.
After a moment or two, I took a deep breath and I began typing out my “Perfect First Date” response, then I hit the submit button and waited for my man in a ranch truck to swipe right and message me.
Nothing happened. Not a single like, heart, message or anything! After a few days of absolutely no responses I was exasperated! I felt entirely silly. Had I really believed that Mr. Right would be on a dating site like this. I quickly pulled up the “deactivate my account” button and that was that.
I had determined one thing though. That question and my response had unconsciously given me a specific parameter. It actually was the catalyst that set my bar higher. It became clear to me that if anyone was asking me out on a date, which was happening frequently, although none of them were making an impression, I could cull out immediately the men who did not have the availability to give me my perfect first date. That threw out the businessmen, construction workers, bankers, lawyers, and the like. It made this whole dating scene a lot easier. It was like a breath of fresh air; I felt a freedom I had never felt before.
Later that week I started packing for my work trip to an event called the Art of the Cowgirl in Queen Creek, AZ. I was selling some equine products as a vendor there. I had also been looking forward to spending time with one of my best friends was taking her candles there to sell.
We were supposed to arrive and set up our booths on that Tuesday, but we got a rain delay, and it pushed back our set up day to Wednesday. It is always a bit of a chaos during these set up days. Vendors are scrambling around like mad, trying to get everything put up and in place for the beginning of the event. I had a very nice gentleman offer to help me out that day. He was good looking and polite, but after visiting with him for a few minutes, I was able to determine that he did not fit into my parameter I had set, and I was relieved to kindly decline his offer of help and send him on his way. Wow, this is really going to make my life easier. No more would I feel compelled to spend time getting to know every Tom, Dick and Harry that came along. I was waiting for a specific caliber of man.
After a long day of set up, I drove to my Airbnb that night and sat with my cup of hot tea recalling the past relationships I had been in. There were good and bad in all of them, but again I determined that I had really settled. I had a friend call me and I spent some time that night cussing and discussing with her the new found freedom I was learning about myself.
The following day passed so quickly, we had a coffee booth that had been set up directly across from our booth and my bestie and I were delighted to give them quite a bit of our business to keep us rolling throughout the day. When I got back to my Airbnb that evening, I had 2 messages from men with an equine background. I called and talked to both of them until late into the night. Neither one of them were “blowing my skirt up” so to speak. Both were really nice, just not cutting the mustard.
The next morning came early and when I got to the event center, I was sad to see the wonderful coffee vendor was getting moved to a different location, and another vendor was setting up their booth in that spot. It was a custom hat maker from the same Wyoming town as that “gamer” guy! Are you kidding me? Out of hundreds of people milling around the event, what were the chances that there would be some folks here from that town?
I let about 30 minutes go by and then I marched over to their booth. I was immediately drawn to the man standing there. He had on a very unique cowboy hat, and his boots were the real deal. Not the just store-bought kind, but the working rancher kind. In about 3 seconds I had summed up that he was legit. A no nonsense kind of guy. He displayed a strong silent type of attitude but was extremely polite and kind. He had on those reflective sunglasses, the kind where I couldn’t see his eyes but I could feel them on me with an intensity that was like hot lava melting my body. I was so strongly drawn to him; it was making me uncomfortable.
To Be Continued
